Mandy’s post– Marriage woes!

There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Romans 5:3

Over the last several days my youngest son Spencer has been taking some first steps! It is such an exciting, fun time for our family to watch him grow and develop. As he is learning to walk, he has fallen many times and will likely fall many more until he masters this skill. However, our Spencer is persistent. He may cry for a while after he falls down, but he always gets right back up and tries again.

Spencer :)
Spencer 🙂

In addition to having two older preschool children, I know from my own experience as young child that even after Spencer masters the skill of walking he will likely endure more falls. The padded diaper falls will be replaced with falls that bring scrapes, cuts and bruises. Slippery ice or wet watery surfaces may also cause a tumble or two along the way.

Do you ever feel like your marriage is like the process of learning to walk…? You make so many positive steps forward in your journey to connecting as husband and wife, but every so often an argument or a misunderstanding causes you to fall?

Personally my initial reaction to an argument or misunderstanding with my husband is an emotional one. I react first, as if my heart has been injured; as if the circumstances I’m facing become my new identity. My flesh resists that quick-to-forgive, love-through-the-ugly mentality and in turn I’m stuck ‘sitting’ instead of getting up and taking steps forward.


I have really sensed God speaking to me during the last couple of ‘misunderstandings’. The fact is, misunderstandings will always come….but my reaction to these misunderstandings and arguments can change. I can chose to dwell in the ‘ugly’; or i can choose to love through the ugly and choose to forgive even when my flesh feels like doing otherwise.

I believe that God has shown me that in the place of every RE-action I can instead choose a positive action. When my husband and I are working through a misunderstanding I could choose to react emotionally as I so often have, OR I can choose to act by praising God for this chance to grow and take the opportunity to show grace, mercy and love to my husband.

Ultimately we know that these tough times in our marriage are growth opportunities. If we choose our actions and reactions wisely I truly believe that God will bless those decisions by strengthening our marriages.

Do you react unwisely during a disagreement with your spouse? How can you change your reaction to one that will honour God and bless your husband?Thank you Jesus for the gift of marriage. Thank you for my wonderful husband. Thank you for the truth that there will be seasons in our marriage; some really great fruitful seasons and also some tough ‘growing’ seasons. I pray God, that as wives we will choose to be quick to forgive, quick to show mercy and quick to choose love. Through the tougher times I pray Jesus that you will develop in us patience and a character that is likened to yours. Thank you in advance for the restored and strengthened marriages that will result from your powerful truth. In Jesus name, amen.


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