{Marriage} Just try harder!

By: Cindy Morrone

It has been 11 years of trying to figure out rushed mornings as a couple and as a family. Whether it is to get to church on time, homeschooling co-op or just trying to get our day started on purpose, these first few hours are critical. We could have prepared the night before and could follow a carefully outlined schedule with assigned duties that morning, however even these are no guarantees that our day will begin smoothly. It is such a fine balance and inevitably something will happen and we are thrown off kilter.

We had that kind of morning just recently and I was so disappointed. But my reason for the disappointment surprised me (and not in a good way!)

It has been years that my husband and I have tried to come up with ‘The Plan’; an outline of who does what and when and where, to become the most efficient on meeting the ‘out the door’ dead line. And oh, he so tried that morning! He helped pack the lunches the night before, including mine. And he made breakfast and packed our van for the morning, all without being asked or without my guidance. He even made the snack I was to bring for sharing! It was all good! The morning was going so well; just like a well-oiled machine. My mind unconsciously kept a record of all the things he was doing right and the ‘Way to go Sal!’ balance was in his favour.

Then……’it’ happened!

This time an item was lost; ‘it’ could be anything at any given time, but ‘it’ is that one thing that threatens the whole effort.

Then near and complete chaos happened! Time was being lost, peace was thrown away and the scale started to tip in the wrong direction.

We said our goodbyes and he could see the disappointment in my countenance.

Then I saw…. without him even speaking a word. I saw how much he had tried; tried to really help; tried to really ease my load; tried to love on me and bless me….and in a near instant all seemed lost.

God forgive me.

The lost incident didn’t even involve us but I allowed it to affect us. Even though I didn’t blame him for the upheaval, I didn’t acknowledge that I didn’t. I allowed my disappointment to wash away all his loving.

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (Proverbs 14:1)

God forgive me.

He couldn’t have tried harder nor done more. This wasn’t about him at all. I allowed my disappointment to target blame on the innocent. I didn’t defend us.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2 & 3)

I apologized and was so thankful for forgiveness, grace, and mercy. And so thankful for my devoted and committed husband!

Dear Heavenly and Gracious Father,
Thank You Lord for our marriages, we are so thankful that we can help each other and bear each others’ loads. Help us to live by the Spirit and not by the flesh, at all times, especially in those times of rush and tension. Help us to build each other up and not tear each other down; to work together in unity. We pray all these things in Your Son’s holy and precious name. Amen.

 

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