By: Mandy Hill
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
The more comfortable you become with someone, the easier it is to hurt them with your words. Weighing your words before you speak them is more important than we often realize.
Marriage is one of the most intimate relationships that you can have. As such, in our comfort perhaps we speak without thought, insensitively, more obtuse. Weighing our words before we speak them to our spouse doesn’t mean we need to be artificial or dishonest. Instead, by weighing our words, we are simply guarding the heart of the one that God has chosen for us to love more intimately than anyone else in our lives here on earth.
How do you weigh words?!
Here are a few questions to ask yourself that will help you weigh your words before you speak them:
1) Are you angry?
Oftentimes with closeness, we can very quickly play on each other’s nerves. Has something your spouse said or done made you angry? Don’t speak while you’re angry. Don’t let any corrupt talk leave your lips. Do what you need to do to calm down, then wisely choose the words you will speak; and speak them in love.
2) Are your words going to build your spouse up or encourage them?
There are far too many outside sources that will tear your spouse down and/or discourage them. Show your spouse you value your relational position and choose to speak life over them whenever you have an opportunity.
3) Are you listening?
Sometimes we just need to be a safe place. Sometimes the wisest words we can speak are the words we don’t speak at all. Sometimes, what we simply need to do is nod our head and offer grace. For some, this is easy. For others this takes intentional effort. Either way, listening is just as important as speaking.
Life is too short to dwell on words spoken harshly or without thought. Learn the art of speaking (and listening) in love, so that you don’t find yourself in a place of regret.
Jesus, thank You so much for the wisdom found in Your word. I pray that we can learn the art of speaking and listening in love, encouraging, and building up our spouse. Please help us to learn to speak wisely, always remembering just how much words truly matter. In Your name, amen.