{Marriage} Spare the Compare.

Written by: Mandy Hill

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody. (‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭14-16‬)

I enjoy social media. Facebook specifically, offers me a window into my family and friends from home. I have re-connected with friends I went to school with, I keep in touch with friends I made at previous churches we have ministered to, and I am a part of a huge online community of women with whom I do bible study with. (Proverbs 31 Ministries)


I sat and shared coffee with a friend recently who made a comment that Facebook can be so depressing. Her friend’s happy statuses, her friend’s doing well for themselves, her friend’s and their happy growing families, etc. She shared how these successes in life, made her life look so insignificant in comparison.

As far as I am concerned, you don’t need social media to fall into the comparison trap!

Us women are so good at looking around the room and sizing ourselves up to other women. I am not necessarily even speaking about physical size, but we are all guilty of that too. We look at the friend who is laughing with her husband and crave a healthier marriage; we look at the friend with the beautiful new Luis Vuitton purse on her arm and wish we were better stewards with our finances; we look at the friend with the slim figure and wish we were better disciplined in eating healthy and exercising; we look at the friend leading the bible study and wonder why we spend most days feeling like we are disconnected from God; we look at the friend who’s children are mannerly, respectful and well put-together and wonder where she gets the time or the patience for it all.

We dare to compare; and then we despair.

Social media has simply opened up new doors for us to share life with people and compare more often. You think; A friend wrote a status about having a date with her husband – ‘why do we never have time or finances for that’? Another friend wrote a status gushing about her husband like they’re still on their honeymoon and they’ve been married for thirteen years – ‘there are days when I feel like my marriage is one thread away from breaking.’ ….and so on.

Comparison is a weapon the enemy will use to completely destroy you, friend. Be aware of your tendency to compare yourself to others and take a different approach. Instead of allowing others good lives to make you feel insignificant or jealous, let their good inspire you to seek good things for your life as well.


The Lord made us and saved us that we might be full of joy. Don’t let the enemy trick you into feeling like you’re less than through the eyes of comparison. Pull on a new perspective and allow the Lord to open your eyes to the many ways in which we are already blessed.

Father God, thank You for new perspective. Please help me to look through new lenses; gaining inspiration as opposed to perceiving insignificance. Remind me often of the joy and blessings You so graciously have given to me when I loose sight of the truth and revert to comparing. Bless You, Jesus, Amen.


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