By: Mandy Hill
“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us.” (1 John 4:17)
I was reading my favourite storybook to my daughter, Sophia last night at bedtime: Cinderella. As I was reading it to her I was sort of chuckling at the wild thought of dancing with a man a few times and falling madly in love with him. The book goes on to show Prince Charming’s love for Cinderella when he searches all the land for the woman that will fill the lost slipper, perfectly. Of course the Duke finds her and then POOF they get married and live happily ever after.
But— remember back to being a little girl…..You wanted that perfect love story didn’t you? You dreamed dreams where Prince Charming would rescue you from the evil clutches of your parents and take you to the place of happily ever after. I certainly dreamed dreams of Prince Charming (I had incredible parents) but even so, who doesn’t dream of her fairy tale love story?
I met my husband in 2002, we dated throughout 2003 and then we married in 2004. Our time together has been filled with a deep love, but it hasn’t been perfect. Our life together has certainly not been a fairy tale either.
I learned a very wise lesson several years ago, a lesson that I am most thankful for…. I was looking for perfect love from my husband, when my husband didn’t have perfect love to give. That does not make him bad, and he wasn’t doing anything wrong. It was never intended for him to love me that way. However, I was expecting from him what is only available from God.
I was expecting from him what is only available from God.
I love my husband, he’s a really great guy. But, imagine the pressure he must have been under with my expecting perfect love from him. Perfect love can ONLY come from God.
I came across this verse a couple years ago and had one of those a-ha moments! “We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. God loved us first.” (1 John 4:19)
We need to look to God to fill us up (not a boyfriend or husband) and then, from that unconditional perfect love that overflows, we can love on others. If we are not allowing God to fill up our love tanks…..we will always feel empty. We will feel empty and the love we have to offer will be scant as well.
Friends, if you’re looking for a grand love story- it’s already been written. Jesus Christ died for us so that we’d be loved for eternity; we just have to allow Him to. Stop expecting your husband to love you in the way that God is so desperately wanting to. Allow God to fill you up with that perfect love today and watch how that perfect love transforms your marriage.
Young ladies, please stop searching for love in all the wrong places. Take your youth to get to know your wonderful saviour and allow HIS love to permeate your heart; first. There is not one single man on this earth that can love you like our God can!
Heavenly Father, thank You for loving us first. Thank You for being our first love and for loving us with Your perfect love. I ask forgiveness for all the times I looked to someone or something else for the love that You were trying so desperately to lavish on me. I pray for my sisters who are struggling in their marriages because of unmet expectations; please, change their hearts, God. Allow them to see the incredible need for You. Please let them see that with You, with Your love, they have all they will ever need. I pray that upon realizing that You do quench every love thirst, that my friends will love on their husbands in a new way; from the outpouring of Your perfect love. I pray for transformed and restored marriages, in Your name. Amen.