{Marriage} Home: Haven or Havoc?

Written By: Mandy Hill

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21a)

For the last six and a half years, it has been the decision of my husband and myself, that I would stay home with our children, as opposed to working outside of the home. It has been one of the most cherished decisions that we have made together as husband and wife.

I love having time to tidy their rooms while the two oldest babes are at school, and read books to my youngest two; uninterrupted. I love being the one that has their snack ready as they walk through the door after a busy day at school, and I love being the first one they share stories about their day with.

Not every day is a walk in the park, however. There are some days that I literally count down the milli-seconds until my husband returns home from the office; so i can escape the chaos for even just a few moments. Do you have those days too?


My husband, fortunate for myself, is a rare breed. He rarely angers and often takes situations that are extremely stressful (to me) and de-escalates them; simply with the calm of his voice. He more often than I’d like to admit, walks into our home with chaos at its peak time; three kids with voices maximized and a wife that is doing her best to maximize her voice ‘over’ their maximized voices, and he brings peace to our home. Most of the time doing so without even the chance to utter a word about how great, or not-so-great his day was.

Not a real nice haven to return home to after a busy day of his own, is it? More like an instant headache!!

I sometimes selfishly pour the burden of my chaotic day, mercilessly into my hubby’s lap. This came to my attention yesterday when I took a little walk around the house after being sick in bed for a day, to find a beautifully tidy house. Even the smallest of details were thought of and I was so blessed by his efforts. Guilt began to consume my heart for not always having a home like this prepared for my hubby to walk into when he returns from his work. My guilt was fuelled by the very fact that I sort-of even expected this to be done, on a day when I was down and out and he was home on his day off.


I asked God to show me how I can make our home a better haven for my hubby. The answer was not necessarily in settling the kids better, tidying more often, or even having a hot meal steaming and ready on the table. God spoke to my heart and told me to be readily available to greet my hubby at the door, as his teammate; choosing to support him and understand that we may both have had long days, and will need to proceed hand-in-hand, holding each other up, as opposed to assuming the onus is on only one of us to hold our fort together.

Is your home a haven or a headache for your spouse?! How can you better support him when he returns home from a day at work?

Heavenly Father, thank You for the beauty in marriage. Thank a You for a union that creates togetherness and support. I pray that I can be a better teammate for my hubby. Show me the way, Lord. In Jesus name, amen.


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