{Marriage} The hard truth.

Written By: Mandy Hill

Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. (Romans 8:18)

Years ago, a friend of mine discovered that her husband had been dabbling in pornography. I remember her phone call, the tangible pain in her discovery; the identities she soon assumed for herself as ‘deserving of such an offence’ or ‘not being worthy of love.’

My husband and I were thankful to be able to help our friends through this bump in their marriage. Newly married ourselves, we were able to see not only what havoc could be caused from holding onto a secret or secret(s); but also, what beautiful freedom and victory comes from sharing in truth.

Let me be honest, my girlfriend suffered immensely from her husbands mistakes. She endured an emotional ride that brought her to a place of incredible emptiness and loneliness. She battled through decisions such as whether or not to stay; or to leave. She beat herself up for even finding herself in a place to have to make such decisions. She blamed herself. She got angry at him. And, she found herself feeling ashamed and asking God why or how He could ever allow such pain and suffering to enter her life or her marriage.

This post is not about pornography. This post is about the valuable lesson that my dear friend and her spouse exemplified during their days spent in ‘the valley’.

A journey was to be had; the process of healing was not a quick or painless one. These dear friends however made up their minds to seek counsel and to restore that which God had called them to: their life-long commitment to marriage.

There were undoubtedly rough days in their journey. Days of silence. Days of intensity. Days of facing head-on their struggles and hurt. God blessed their efforts to seek restoration and soon the healing came. Love and joy began to grow and strangle the pain and hurt that once took those places in their hearts. Romance and passion resumed and forgiveness ultimately completed the healing they so desperately sought.

They suffered through some hard times, friends. But they chose to suffer knowing that God’s healing and glory would come. “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.(Romans 8:18)


Are you facing a situation, particularly with your spouse, which you are having difficulty forgiving, or finding the will to seek restoration? Ask The Lord to help you with this. He won’t leave you for even a moment (yes, even during the pain and suffering!). Allow Him to walk you through the valley, so that you may reach a time of extravagant victory; a time when His magnificence will be revealed in you.

Father God, thank You for the times You have designed for us to spend in the valley; for times where we may experience Your growth and healing. Thank You for the promise that we do not have to dwell in these places; that our future us bright with hope for tomorrows that will not harm us. (Jeremiah 29:11) Thank You, that You never leave us, nor forsake us. (1 Kings 8:57) Thank You for the hope that the suffering we may endure will be nothing compared to the glory that You will reveal in us. (Romans 8:18) We pray these things in Your name, Jesus, Amen.


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